A People Pleasers Guide to Serenity – Part 2: Saying Yes!

Serenity, as defined by Google, is ‘the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil’.

Springtime Dusk in South-Central Alberta, Canada

A beautiful yellow and red sunset passes almost daily in all parts of the world, yet is often missed and not appreciated. So the maker of worlds decided to cut us a break, and give us the chance to see it again the next day and witness its unmistakable beauty. And what then if we miss it a second time, well, here it comes again as a reminder than no matter the outcome of a day, no matter the poor choice or mistake we execute, beauty can be found each day and welcomes all who care to bask in its warm glow.

It takes decades to really fine tune this little thing we call life, and even longer, to get most of it right. I may indeed need a couple lifetimes to get even some of it right, but that’s thing, I’m ok with that.

I stumble from failure to victory and back again, not knowing sometimes why yesterday was so tough and why tomorrow looks so bleak. We all face choices each day, that lead us down winding roads towards our own temporary demise, satisfaction, and ultimate knowledge of what we want out of life. I use the word temporary deliberately, for each choice we make bares a consequence, and each choice, is followed up by something similar and often times haunting, another choice. Those moments after a decision conceives a consequence, or set of consequences, deals us the card of redemption, decisions to make things right, do things different, and win the day.

The choice then to be free, serene, and ‘good’ with life is just that, a choice. A state of being can ultimately be the result of your mental decision to be that way, in combination with the factors of your decisions. However those who struggle for the lack of self-serenity, can often times find that each sunset, truly represents an opportunity to start anew, looking forward to the sunrise of success that waits for them to just simply look forward and backwards, no more.

Peace is an inner feeling demonstrating itself by who you feel you are.

By giving of one self, which when delivered to those in need, want, and desperation, yields a remarkable miracle to those recipients of selfless acts of various service. There is no better example of selflessness than that of a mother. No different than my own mother, most spend countless hours, days, weeks, months, and years, missing sleep, meals, showers, and many other personal needs/pleasures, by putting their young, and often not so young children first. Losing themselves for the life, and happiness of their little ones, noble and giving by design, with blessings yielding from the effort and satisfaction in the glory of raising that child.

Countless men and women all over the world give graciously of their time and efforts to help others in big and small ways. I speak from personal experience the joy overwhelming which accompanies acts of service. It’s a pleasure indescribable to which no other satisfaction compares.

Yet at times those same men and women fall victim to predator of depression, self-doubt, even addiction and pain from giving so much of their time and attention to others. They lose themselves completely and quite often in the shadows of guilt for not being able to do more.

Is there a way to say no without feeling you are letting someone down? It sometimes takes years of consistent interpersonal reassurance, to convince one’s self that it’s okayto say no to others. Especially when you have made it a point to never do that when faced of someone who may need you.

I submit that instead of working towards saying no to those opportunities, we can easily and without guilt, work on say yes, not only to opportunities to serve, but also to ourselves.

Yes to the risks we want to take but may be too afraid. Yes to concerts, trips, dates, quiet moments alone, and passions yet discovered. Yes to the friend who we haven’t seen, that movie we’ve wanted to go to but haven’t because there was so much to do for others, and yes to dessert (maybe only every once in a while in my case).

And most importantly, yes to service from others. Yes there are many opportunities each day to say YES to those around who in their own quiet ways, want to serve us just the same as we look to serve them. Say yes. When offered lunch, or a drink, a ride or something small and insignificant, just say yes.

Say yes to you. After all, in all fairness you give and serve, and whether great or small, your efforts are seen and appreciated. And moreover, they give you the right and opportunity to say yes to things in life that give you joy, happiness, that fill up your emotional tank, and ultimate serenity.